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October 29, 2018

I’m in a place where I feel my heart breaks on a regular basis:

• Turning on the news

• Driving (seeing ALL the DEAD squirrels, election signs, road rage, construction, folks holding signs at every stop signal asking for help, bumper stickers expressing hate, etc.)

• Social media

• Movies

• Talking to friends over coffee about all of the above

• Not having my expectations met (usually based on logical humanistic response)

It feels like too much to take at times. Even now as I type about it, I can feel my heart racing (though this may also have to do with the high level of caffeine in my system). Turning OFF feels like the greatest challenge these days and silence feels like the thing I want the most.

The moment I do (decide to turn things off) I am often tim...

July 3, 2018

This question always seems to be the old one that never gets too old for people to ask.

I respond a number of different ways:

• Do in what sense?

• Do...in life?

• What exactly are you speaking to?

• Well I     (insert actual action happening in the moment)     isn't it obvious?

• I'm a yoga therapist.

• I support people in getting to know themselves better.

• That change that you want in life that you can't seem to make happen...I can help you with that.

It really all depends on my mood, but mostly it depends on if the person asking the question actually wants to hear an answer. Have you had that experience before?

You: Hello

Someone else: HI! How ARE you?

You: Well....(person walks away)

Familiar? So what is it? Why do people ask...

June 7, 2018

Recently, I have been doing a personal practice of noticing what has not been tended to. What I mean by this is noticing what lies within that I have not yet acknowledged or done my work around. Not only do I notice this within me but also I notice this with folks around me.

The greatest fuel for these things I haven't tending to is fear. If I choose to explore something inside me, there is a fear of what might come up as a result. If it's an emotion like love or loss, then there is potential for grasping, clinging or reliving experiences. There is an endless feedback loop of what used to be or what happened. I notice what I could have changed or want to change now. All of it is based on comparison of good or bad, of what makes me feel comfortable or...

March 21, 2018

Trauma seems to be a hot topic nowadays. There are endless trainings and workshops, books and studies, ways of approach and healing with focus on Trauma. It is acute, sexual, physical, mental, emotional, psychological, the list goes on and on. So when I speak to a lens of trauma, how do you see it? Does it come in parts or pieces? Is from your past or your present?

I have sat in many discussions and workshops around trauma. I've read books and watched documentaries. I've spoken to colleagues and clients, to adults and teenagers. The common thread I see is FEAR. Fear is tricky, especially when it comes to supporting someone in healing (whatever that is for that particular person).

As a yoga therapist, I have met many people on my mat (which I lovin...

March 7, 2018

Have you every noticed the power your words have over you when you don't meet expectations?

I'll give you an example: "My back hurts! I can't _______, I can't ________, If I look like I'm broken, it's because _______, so I'm gonna look like _______."

I kept all the words blank because I'm sure that each and every one of you could come up with a reason why in the "can't" category. It's an interesting conversation to have with folks. I feel like in the world we live in right now, most people are likely to speak to what can't happen or what won't work. The past always seems to dictate the future. But if that were true and we know what isn't going to work, you would think that people would be more inclined to take risks or chance at something with perhaps...

February 15, 2018

Conflict & Resolution:

Can 1 exist without the other?

I pose this question to myself and where the world is right now. Being from the U.S. I am faced with the grief of the happenings of yet ANOTHER school shooting. ANOTHER situation that perhaps COULD HAVE been prevented. But what I am struck with the most is the reaction, the effect, affect, the ripple of action.

I hear parents voicing frustration & fear.

Policies, lack of policies...

WHY!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

Why, in a country that promotes FREEDOM, do we stand without action?

Why the laws, the restrictions OR lack of laws & restrictions?

Why are the warning signs ignored?

What do I do? Who do I voice to? Am I just another newsfeed ranter or CAN SOMETHING BE DONE?

Can something be done...

I speak almost dail...

January 5, 2018

It happens to the best of us when we least expect it. A memory floods in at the least suspecting moment and then, just like that, you can feel it in your body. After so many years of working in the field of Mind/Body, it still fascinates me how a memory, a simple memory can take me completely out of the present & into the past or future.

A smell,

sound,

taste,

a sound/song.

how my skin gets brushed,

bumped,

a word,

subject,

ALL have taken me away.

At times it can be pleasant tipping off a daydream that lasts forever or what was or what could be. I fanticise of any or all possibilities. The opposite happens too - a memory of loss or struggle and all of a sudden my heart starts racing and I am consumed my fear and anxiety or what happened or what could happen.

Th...

November 10, 2017

I've been discerning(sitting with) the idea of support for some time now. Looking at the difference between the kind of support that shows up and the support I really need to get me through _______.

It's interesting how much I am willing to bear with at any given moment. It's the "this is fine" mentality.

Are you familiar with this image?

I used to laugh SO much with my co-workers about this image. If you have ever worked in "the industry" which usually refers to food & beverage, you are probably familiar with this concept. No matter the fire, you work through, make it work, just keep moving...

This can only work for so long and wears people down on SO many levels.

I feel like most people can relate to this concept no matter where you are in life. Deep in...

July 17, 2017

It's been more than a month since my 2nd surgery on May 15th. I got out of the hospital on the 18th and found myself met with a whole other set of challenges. I had a PICC line installed in my arm(you all have google so...enjoy looking that one up). I was set out on a course of 28-42 days of antibiotics - Cephazolin to be exact. At first it didn't seem to bother me, every eight hours lay out the dose. It went like this:

Step 1: unlock line, wipe 20 seconds with alcohol wipe, saline flush
Step 2: wipe 20 seconds with alcohol wipe, Cephazolin (3-5 minutes to inject)
Step 3: wipe 20 seconds with alcohol wipe, saline flush
Step 4: wipe 20 seconds with alcohol wipe, heparin to make sure the line doesn't cake up in the next 8 hours, lock line and remove
Ste...

May 20, 2017

It's been 5 months since my surgery. Well to be exact it was 5 months and 10 days since my first surgery that I went in for my second. It was decided just as quickly as the first with the only reason being "it's what we need to do." May 11th marked a turning point. I had made an appointment for my surgeon to look at something I thought to be unusual. It looked to me like the head of another suture. This has been my battle...for these 5 months I have had a suture push its way out of my wound skin every 4-6 weeks. It's really no wonder that my skin didn't want foreign objects in my body. Just when I would get strong enough to move around a lot it would happen again.

And again.

And again.

Until finally there was enough healthy skin to work with in my ankle...

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