“On this day I sit with my body as we trust in others to help us in this journey of healing.
May my internal world be fluid & accepting
May my spirit sit & help guide the hand of healing
I call upon God, healing Ancestors, Spirit guides & Guardian angels to surround & support
May I be surrounded by healing, safe, white light
May each movement be a step further toward connection
May this reconnection of physical energy promote healing & connection emotionally & spiritually
I extend my heart & soul to trust in the Higher Spirit to repair, mend, heal & awake with strength to continue in this journey
I remain fluid, safe, open & healed
Grateful, full of love & light, I welcome you”
After writing this I meditated. I listened to my breath, my body, my thoughts and emotions. Once I reached my inner knowing I felt ALL of you. A fire lay waiting for me in the form of an enormous white light. I felt YOUR energy beating in my belly and through my chest. I didn't have to do the work alone. Never in my life have a felt so supported by the world around me. My parents, my husband, my friends and family were all there, inside me.
Sure, I was nervous. I have no idea what was coming next. We got to the surgery complex, stood around, waited, signed in, got a fancy beeper and more waiting. I met 5 different nurses. Got brought into a room, had to remove all my clothing and out on one of those “johnnies” that closed in the back. How did those things get that name anyway?
149/69 was it?
My vitals...they've been taken so many times in the past week. Apparently my blood pressure is lower before surgery than when I saw my PCP. Weird. I did have my IV put in before that and well, my heart slows immediately when needs come into play.
She, Sandy, let me know everything. Light on...of course so she could see. “A little numbing…” Followed by “a little sting….a little burn.”
Each step was correct and explained perfectly. I felt the fluid enter my veins. It was strange having my veins being used for something. It was just fluid, but I could feel my veins getting tired.
Back to waiting…
Next came my anesthesiologist, Greg. Two Gregs which is great! I've always trusted Gregs. We spoke about doing a nerve block. He would numb my sciatic nerve so that I wouldn't feel he surgery. The other option would be general anesthetic, a breathing tube since I would have to lay on my belly And being pumped with narcotics via IV to get my brain to not receive the pain it would be feeling.
There wasn't denying the general anesthesia or breathing tube, but the thought of lying to my brain with narcotics did NOT feel like my option. Nerve block it was.
Back to waiting.
Then just like that, the nerve block, Cory was asked to go to the waiting room and I was wheeled off to surgery. 3 nurses brought me in, 3 women...then awaiting us were 3 men, all with masks, all strangers. I tried to make out name tags (considering I have already met Sandy, Patty, Kathleen and of course, Greg) but I couldn't see. I thought I saw Nicholas, but I can't be sure. We spoke about NY, how 2 of them were from NY. It's funny how people from New York all consider leaving escaping. We spoke about Long Island, then came a face mask, 3 deep breaths and…
Then I woke up with Leanne. She wore pink. Her socks even matched. It was over and moments later Cory came in and joined me.
Ginger ale. Saltines. Orange Slush(which tasted like the bottoms of an Italian Ice cup).
Then we tested my crutches as I hobbled to the bathroom while Cory got the car.
That's it? I was confused a bit. I kind of felt rushed. So it's done and now I leave. So weird.
After I hobbled back to my room I felt a bit nauseous, almost like I was kind of car sick. Leanne went and got we some barf bags. They looked like hard plastic condoms for giants...haha. I didn't need them, but the giants may need them later, so we took 2 home.